Cinderela no país das Maravilhas

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Is it goodbye?

on April 3, 2015

madness 4Can’t keep going. Why not? Chest hurts and is not a flu or pneumonia.
Looking up for a God that I don’t believe and pray.
Pray to be able to be humble, to be thankful for what I’ve got.
But I hardly have the courage to face the world with what I’ve got – meaning I feel it is absolute nothting.

Conquered nothing, killed opportunities, ran away from possible projects…no…none of this really happened. So it must be the f…depression talking through me.

Lost friends I wanted to keep. Cold feet about the new eventual ones. Don’t know what is worse: to fuel the search and hard fight for a place for me or to just quit and drift away. Or the other – the final absolute happiness of getting rid of all suffering by switch to the unknown world.

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